


He Said No

by jooliewrites



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Angst, Domestic, Established Relationship, M/M, Marriage Proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-29
Updated: 2016-02-29
Packaged: 2018-05-24 00:39:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6135502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jooliewrites/pseuds/jooliewrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He said no. </p>
<p>Oliver couldn’t believe it. He stood dumbfounded in the middle of their – no – his living room. His apartment. His no longer theirs. In one fell swoop, 303 was suddenly and fully his once again. </p>
<p>Connor said no.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Said No

**Author's Note:**

> [originally posted](http://ramblesandreblogs.tumblr.com/post/138249974378/14-hey-im-with-you-okay-always-from-this)

He said no.

Oliver couldn’t believe it. He stood dumbfounded in the middle of their – no – his living room. His apartment. His no longer theirs. In one fell swoop, 303 was suddenly and fully his once again.

Connor said no.

Oliver’s knee faintly ached from the hardwood floor and he shook it out a little as he replayed what the hell just happened.

Dinner had gone off without a hitch. The meal and conversation and everything had been just perfect, just like Oliver’d planned.

They’d been lingering over dessert and Connor’d thrown his head back with a laugh. It’d been one of those ones Oliver loved, full bodied and full bellied, and Oliver just knew that this was moment he’d been waiting for. This was the moment he was going to ask Connor to spend forever with him.

Oliver slid out of his chair at the table to kneel on the floor next to Connor. He’d taken Connor’s hand and said his little speech and waited for Connor to say yes.

But instead Connor said nothing.

Connor’d shifted in his seat and tried a smile, tried to play to whole thing off with a, “Is this for real?”

“Yes,” Oliver answered, starting to feel foolish. “Will you–?”

“Cut it out, Ollie,” Connor interrupted, his voice high and desperate. “Come on. Just…just cut it out.”

His voice was pleading, begging Oliver to take the lifeline, begging Oliver to just let this whole thing go.

But Oliver couldn’t, wouldn’t, he didn’t want to let their future go. “You don’t want to marry me?”

“N–It’s not that.” It could never be that. Looking at Oliver kneeling at his feet, offering Connor everything he’d ever wanted, Connor hated himself more than he ever had. Everything in him was screaming, shouting, begging to say yes except that one kernel that reminded him about secrets held fast for years now. Secrets about fake drug addictions and the feel of gunmetal in his hand. Secrets about bodies burned in the woods and thrown away like trash. That kernel that knew the truth about him and knew Connor couldn’t say yes.

Connor turned his seat to take both of Oliver’s hands in his and leaned down so they were eye level. “Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always. Forever.” He squeezed Oliver’s hands as he said the words like a vow, a poor substitute for the vow Connor wished he could say. “As long as you’ll have me, I’m with you. I…” Connor faulted and swallowed down the lump in his throat. “It’s just–do we have to get married?”

Months or weeks ago, Oliver would have said no. Hell, even as he was planning this, he’d wavered on if he really wanted it, if he wanted the hoopla of it all. They’d been together for years now and the two of them knew what they meant to each other. That was enough.

But now, kneeling at the feet of the man he loved, Oliver knew that this, marriage, wasn’t something he wanted. It was something he needed.

He needed to declare his love for Connor for all the world to see. He needed the ceremony of it. All their friends and family gathered around. His niece and Connor’s running around together in flower girl dresses while Connor’s nephew chased after them both in his ring bearer attire. He needed his signature proudly next to Connor’s on their marriage certificate. He needed the weight of a wedding band on his finger. He needed to file their taxes together and figure out whose insurance to get on. Buy a place in the city and maybe something out in the country. Adopt a dog or, maybe if they were lucky, a child. Go through anniversaries and dry spells, good times and bad. Wake up everyday together and grown old sitting next to each other.

Oliver knew that it didn’t really make sense. He knew he really wasn’t this traditional. He knew that thinking that he wanted to get married so they could share a last name was horribly old-fashioned but…

He wanted to get married so they could share a last name.

“Yes. We do have to get married,” Oliver’d whispered. He licked his lips and continued on. “I want to spend forever with you as your husband. Not a boyfriend or partner. A husband. And I want you to be mine.”

That’s when Connor’d dropped Oliver’s hands and, unsurprisingly, the night dissolved into a fight.

It had only been minutes ago – minutes since Connor’d left with a huge slam of the door – but, even still, Oliver was muddy on the details.

How had it all gone sideways so quickly? How had it gone from a marriage proposal to Connor leaving? How had it gone from being together forever to breaking up in minutes?

Connor had left.

Connor was gone.

Connor had said no.

Looking at the table, at the plates they’d never cleared and the candles they’d never blown out, Oliver had a thought that he should clean up. Put the dishes in the sink. Put the leftovers in tupperware. Start the soaking the roasting pan.

He started to pick up Connor’s plate before the sheer weight of the night and the fight overtook him like a wave.

Oliver barely made to the bed, wrapping himself around Connor’s pillow, before the levee on his emotions broke and the pain took him under.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://ramblesandreblogs.tumblr.com)
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> PS: I'm only posting this here on the off chance I write part two. I have an idea for it but you never know if that means it will actually get written. Sorry. I'm the worst. :(


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